Reflections

Last week was a national holiday here. Golden Week occurs from the end of April through the first few days of May and is a week that has four national holidays.  Many people travel during this time.  We took the time to escape from the big city and visit my husband’s parents in the countryside. I love spending time here. I enjoy the fellowship with family. I also enjoy the slower pace and the long walks along the river and the rice fields.  At this time of year, the farmers are flooding the rice fields and beginning to plant. I never get tired of seeing the reflections in the water.  The view depends on the time of day. Sometimes you can see the mountains reflected and other times you can see the buildings that are in the area.

As I was walking and thinking about all I was seeing, I began to think about other types of reflections.  The most important reflection would be what I know and meditate on about my God.

“What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us.”
~A. W. Tozer

In the comments of a post by Whitney, she mentioned keeping a list of what she learns about God from her daily Bible time on her phone.  I’m a notebook and paper kind of girl, but I don’t always have a notebook with me.  I do find myself using my phone for things more often than not. So I started a note in my app on my phone called “One Thing” based on Psalm 27:4, “One thing have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to enquire in his temple.”

When I was a much younger woman, I remember that an assistant pastor at our church encouraged us to get one thought from the Word each day.  I have tried to maintain this habit for years, but I don’t always write it down. If I do, I might write it on the page for the day in my bullet journal.  I liked the idea of having it in one place on my phone so that I can see it any time I want.  I have found myself reviewing my “one thing” while waiting in line or sitting in the car. These are times when I would not have my notebook with me.

In closing, I would like to share one of my recent entries.  Maybe you’d like to share one of your thoughts from the Word in the comments.  I’d love to hear from you.

“ For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.” ~Hebrews 4:12

“…make those verses our own through faith and obedience. For a stronger faith, focus your mental energy on the verses God gives you. That’s the best exercise of the soul. Where there is a command, obey it. Where there is a prayer, offer it. Where there is a truth, believe it. Where there is a message, repeat it. Where there is a promise, claim it by faith.” ~Robert Morgan, author of Reclaiming the Lost Art of Biblical Meditation.

Believing That God is Good

This post has been a long time coming. It is something I have been thinking about for several months. I am finally sitting down to try to put some of my thoughts into words.  I pray that I am able to convey some of what God is teaching me.

From some of my previous posts, you may remember that my word for 2021 is believing.  There have been so many ways that the Lord has used this word in my heart over the last several months.  What He is teaching me now is something that I desperately need to learn.

Believing that God is good…

There is so much going on in the world today:  illness, death, grief, political upheavals, weather disasters and the list goes on and on and on…Last week, my husband and I were getting ready to call it a night.  Right before I turned out my light, the emergency alarm went off on my phone.  Of course, it was all in kanji which we don’t read well.  We finally figured out it was landslide warning.  We have had so.much.rain!!  There are floods and landslides throughout Japan.  We are safe and live in a safe area from these particular kind of disasters.  A day later, we were awakened by an earthquake at 5:00 a.m.! Talk about an adrenaline rush!!  Some other things have been happening in our world here that caused my hubby to say recently, “Man, when it rains it pours!”  Literally!

It can all be so overwhelming.  Sometimes I may be wondering where God is in all of this.  I believe that God is all-powerful and that He loves me.  I believe as the children sing, “there’s nothing my God cannot do.”  But will He?  

“Thou art good, and doest good; teach me thy statutes.”
~Psalm 119:68

The psalmist here is appealing to the character of God.  This is throughout Psalm 119.  He talks of His faithfulness, His compassion, His righteousness and His mercy.*  These are all things that make God and everything He does good.  It’s all about Him and His character, not me and the circumstances I am facing.  Jesus talked about faith as small as a mustard seed.  These seeds are so small, I can hardly see them.  God blesses that amount of faith.  

I have been following the CaringBridge sight of someone who is dealing with a seriously ill husband.  The journey has been long and hard, but her updates are full of God’s goodness.  This week, I listened to a podcast series featuring Stephanie Wesco.  Her husband was shot and killed 12 days after they arrived in Cameroon to serve the Lord as missionaries.  As I listened, I heard a testimony of God’s goodness in spite of such a horrific loss.  

It is difficult to read the CaringBridge updates through the tears.  I sobbed through part of the podcasts with Stephanie Wesco.  I want that kind of faith, but I don’t want the trials and hardships that grow that kind of faith.  I have had to confess that to the Lord multiple times.  I know He already knows.  I pray that I will be willing to endure whatever He allows in order to grow my faith.

I think David sums up my thoughts perfectly in Psalm 27:13.  “I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.”  May we all take his admonition in verse 14 to heart.  “Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.”

*Notes shared from the MacArthur Study Bible

 

 

Perfectionism and Unbelief

Many years ago, I was told I was a perfectionist.  At the time, it was a type of “diagnosis” of a problem that I had.  Being the type of person who enjoys research, I started reading up on perfectionism.  It wasn’t flattering as I saw myself in some of what I was reading.  I am more the “I’ll do it or die trying” than the “If I can’t do it perfectly, I won’t do it at all” type of perfectionist.  I started to realize what it was like to live with someone like me and started to work on changing that.  

Sometimes I think I have perfectionism licked.  Other times, I see it rearing its ugly head.  Although there is nothing wrong with striving for excellence, it becomes a problem when you are running over anyone that is in your way.  

Revive Our Hearts podcasts is having a series right now on perfectionism entitled When Life Doesn’t Line Up: The Crushing Burden of Perfectionism.  Out of curiosity, I began to listen.  The first episode, A Matter of Worship, was a good reminder to me of how far I’ve come.  I also saw a few areas that I need to work on.  The second episode, I’ll Never Measure Up, stopped me in my tracks.  

You may remember that my word for 2021 is believing.  When the Lord impresses on me a word for the year, He teaches me many things.  Sometimes these lessons come from surprising places.  Listening to that second episode was one of those surprising places. 

The episode is a discussion.  One of the women asked the questions, “Is it possible that a root of perfection is unbelief? That we are not trusting God when we are rising up to make everything around us go exactly as we think it needs to go? Are we at the root struggling with unbelief?”  The author of the book they were discussing responded, “I think that is very perceptive, because one of the reasons that I need to control things and I need to make everything around me just the way I think it ought to be is because I don’t have confidence that God is going to do good.” [emphasis mine]

As they continued to discuss this and situations where we don’t have the confidence that God is going to do good, I couldn’t help but think of times where that is true in my life.  Every time I try to manipulate circumstances for the outcome that I think should take place, I don’t have the confidence that God is going to do good.  Every time I nag my husband to do something the way I think it should be done, I don’t have the confidence that God is going to do good.  Every time I am trying to work the budget from every possible angle to make sure there is enough money for what is coming up or warn an adult child about a possible terrible outcome to some plan or action on their part, I don’t have the confidence that God is going to do good.

I would tell you that God is good. I would tell you that everything He does is good. (Psalm 119:68) After thinking most of the day on this podcast, I have realized that there are circumstances where my thoughts and actions are showing that I don’t believe that like I thought I did.  And so today, the Lord put His finger on something that He wanted me to know, a place in my heart where I am not believing that He is good and that what He does is good when it isn’t what I would have chosen.  

This is a very transparent blog post.  Maybe this is an area where you are lacking as well.  If so, leave a comment and let’s pray for one another.  I long to have that confidence that God is going to do good no matter what!!!

Broken Bones

There are times in life when God is working in your heart and showing you things about Himself from His Word that are too personal to share with others.  Not because you don’t want to be transparent and open, but because it loses something when shared with others. It is an intimate time between you and your God.

Since my return to Japan the end of February, I have had some of those moments.  During my recent time as an invalid, I have had more of those moments.  God has been my refuge during this time of quarantine from corona virus and now another type of quarantine of being confined to my chair.

My devotional this year is New Morning Mercies by Paul David Tripp.  The author had no way of knowing what would be going on in my life the year I chose to read his book.  He had no way of knowing what I would be enduring on a daily basis as I read his entry for that day. But God knew.  I have no doubt this year was the year God wanted me to read this devotional.  The entry for June 1st cemented that for me.  God is faithful.  He knows our need.  He plans in advance to meet those needs before we are aware we will have them.

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God’s care comes in many forms. He cares enough to break your bones in order to capture your heart.

I wish your care was always easy, predictable, safe—
a cool drink
a soft pillow—
but you are too wise,
too loving,
too committed to your work of
transforming grace.
So your gracious care comes to me
in uncomfortable forms:
the redeeming care of
disappointment,
the unexpected
trial,
suffering, loss.
These things don’t tell me you’re
cold-hearted,
absent,
uninvolved.
No, each is a sign of
zealous grace,
redeeming love.
I struggle to grasp how much you
care,
so I struggle to rest in that
care.
You care enough to give me what I
need,
not what I want.
You care enough to break my bones
in order
to recapture my heart.

For further study and encouragement: Psalm 51 (especially v. 8)

“Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice.”

Tripp, Paul David. New Morning Mercies . Crossway. Kindle Edition.

 

God Knows

God knows—not I—the devious way

            Wherein my faltering feet may tread,

Before into the light of day,

            My steps from out this gloom are led,

And, since my Lord the path doth see

What matter if ‘tis hid from me?

 

God knows—not I—how sweet accord

            Shall grow at length from out this clash

Of earthly discords which have jarred

            On soul and sense; I hear the crash,

Yet feel and know that on his ear

Break harmony—full, deep, and clear.

 

He knoweth, too, despite my will

            I’m weak when I should be most strong.

And after earnest wrestling still

            I see the right yet do the wrong.

Is it that I may learn at length

Not mine, but his, the saving strength?

 

His perfect plan I may not grasp,

            Yet I can trust Love Infinite,

And with my feeble fingers clasp

            The hand which leads me into light.

My soul upon his errands goes,

The end I know not—but God knows.

 

                        ~Author Unknown