First Love

“Nevertheless I have somewhat against thee,
because thou hast left thy first love.”
-Revelation 2:4

First love…I’ve done a lot of pondering over those two words in recent months.  It’s a concept that we don’t often think of.  When we hear or read Revelation 2:4, it may cause us to squirm a little.  We may think, “I love the Lord. I haven’t left Him.” Revelation 2:4 doesn’t say that we left Him.  It says we left our first love.

When I am studying something, I like to look up words in the dictionary.  I use the Blue Letter Bible app to look up the meaning in the original language.  I also like to read different translations.  One translation says, “You have abandoned the love you had at first.” Sometimes those of us who have walked with the Lord for a long time get bogged down with life.  We get settled in our relationship with the Lord.  Maybe it even becomes routine. We don’t like to think of the words left or abandon. But when we allow life to crowd into our relationship with the Lord, that is what we are doing.

For the last several months, I have had the privilege of being around a young man who has that first love. This young man has no Christianity in his background or in his family.  He received no gospel witness from a Christian or a gospel tract.  God took this man to the end of himself.  At that point, God gave him the desire to pick up a Bible and start reading it. He led him to visit our church in December.  He kept coming back.  He had to have surgery that required hospitalization.  During the hospital stay, he read his Bible for 12 hours a day!!! He is thrilled to have met Jesus Christ.  He has been gloriously saved. This was all the Lord’s doing and it is marvelous in our eyes!! (Psalm 118:23) It has been a privilege to watch the Lord draw this young man to Himself.

As I watched all of this unfold, I also watched what being around this young man did for the members of our church and me. There is something contagious about being around someone with that first love.  There were several things I noticed in this man’s life that gave me pause to consider my own spiritual life. 

First, he cannot get enough of God’s Word.  He is faithful to every service at church.  He meets with my husband for weekly Bible study. He reads and studies his Bible every free moment. He has started memorizing some of God’s Word.  

This young man has a tremendous burden for those who don’t know the Lord.  His first prayer request after his salvation was for family members that do not know the Lord.  He makes sure his two-year-old daughter is at church. He wants her to grow up knowing the true God. He has a heavy burden for his wife and his parents.  He wants them to know the truth. He is so excited about the peace that God has given him and the change that God has wrought in his life, that he wants everyone to know.

He had two huge tests for a young believer in this land where we serve. The day before his baptism, he had to take a stand against ancestor worship. He did it without hesitation. The day after his baptism, his boss told him that he needed to move to another city to keep his job. He declined. As a result, he is looking for a new job. He told my husband that he did not think it would be good for his spiritual life to relocate at this time.  He went on to say that this is a good time for him to learn to trust the Lord.  

As I watched all of this take place, I saw the people of our church get excited at what God is doing in this man’s life.  There is a new fervor among the people. There is a new zeal to pray for unsaved loved ones.  We have been reminded that God is still working to draw people to Himself. 

In my own life, I have seen areas where I am not trusting God as I should. I have had my burden for others increase. I have meditated on the changes God has wrought in my life with thanksgiving. I am praying for God to increase my desire for His Word and He is answering. 

What about you? Have you left your first love? Meditate on all the things God has done in your heart and your life.  Spend more time in His Word and prayer with thanksgiving. As you do that, see if you don’t return to that first love!

What a wonderful change in my life has been wrought
Since Jesus came into my heart!
I have light in my soul for which long I have sought,
Since Jesus came into my heart!

I have ceased from my wand’ring and going astray,
Since Jesus came into my heart!
And my sins which were many are all washed away,
Since Jesus came into my heart!

I’m possessed of a hope that is steadfast and sure,
Since Jesus came into my heart!
And no dark clouds of doubt now my pathway obscure,
Since Jesus came into my heart!

There’s a light in the valley of death now for me,
Since Jesus came into my heart!
And the gates of the City beyond I can see,
Since Jesus came into my heart!

I shall go there to dwell in that city, I know,
Since Jesus came into my heart!
And I’m happy, so happy, as onward I go,
Since Jesus came into my heart! 

Since Jesus came into my heart,
Since Jesus came into my heart,
Floods of joy o’er my soul like the sea billows roll,
Since Jesus came into my heart.
~Rufus H. McDaniel

Pondering

“But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart.”

-Luke 2:19

Years ago, a very dear Titus 2 friend in my life encouraged me to ask the Lord to show me something new from His story during each Christmas season.  I have continued to do this each year.  I wish I would have started a list to write down all of the lessons so that I could review them each year.  One year in particular that comes back to my mind was the year that I meditated on the fact that Mary pondered in her heart.

There are many things that I ponder about.  Sometimes it is something that I want to remember and not forget.  Sometimes it is something that I don’t have an answer for.  Sometimes it is something that I know I should pray about, but I don’t know how to pray.  Romans 8:26 tells us that when we don’t know how to pray as we ought, His Spirit makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered!  What an amazing and comforting thought!!

At some point in time, I decided to add a page in my prayer notebook entitled pondering.  On this page I write the things that I don’t know how to pray about.  It might be a person I am burdened for.  It could be a situation that I know needs fixing, but I don’t know how to fix it.  It could just be something I see God doing and wonder what the outcome will be.

What a joy to look over that list and ponder over what God has done or is doing!  It’s not always easy, but God’s hand is in it and He is there!

What are you pondering over today? May I encourage you to give it to the Lord and see what He will do.

Year’s End

Thy goodness has been with me during another year,
     leading me through a twisting wilderness,
     in retreat helping me to advance,
     when beaten back making sure headway.

Thy goodness will be with me in the year ahead;
I hoist my sail and draw up anchor,
     with thee as the blessed Pilot of my future as of my past.

~Valley of Vision, pg. 111

*photo taken in beautiful Pennsylvania

 

Material for Sacrifice

Elisabeth Elliott in her devotional A Lamp unto My Feet says that our unfulfilled longings can be material for sacrifice.  This has provided much food for thought for me today.

“I had been praying for something I wanted very badly. It seemed a good thing to have, a thing that would make life even more pleasant than it is, and would not in any way hinder my work. God did not give it to me. Why? I do not know all of His reasons, of course. The God who orchestrates the universe has a good many things to consider that have not occurred to me, and it is well that I leave them to Him. But one thing I do understand: He offers me holiness at the price of relinquishing my own will. 

“Do you honestly want to know Me?” He asks. I answer yes. “Then do what I say,” He replies. “Do it when you understand it; do it when you don’t understand it. Take what I give you; be willing not to have what I do not give you. The very relinquishment of this thing that you so urgently desire is a true demonstration of the sincerity of your lifelong prayer: ‘Thy will be done.’” 

So instead of hammering on heaven’s door for something which it is now quite clear God does not want me to have, I make my desire an offering. The longed-for thing is material for sacrifice. Here, Lord, it’s yours. He will, I believe, accept the offering. He will transform it into something redemptive. He may perhaps give it back as He did Isaac to Abraham, but He will know that I fully intend to obey Him.”

Facing the Critics

Last month, I posted about Toppling the Pedestal.  What about when there is no pedestal?  What about the times when our critics are numerous and we feel like no matter what we do or say, it will be wrong?  We’ve all been there at one time or another.  These times can be especially painful for those of us who are in ministry.

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I Needed the Quiet

I needed the quiet so He drew me aside,
Into the shadows where we could confide.
Away from the bustle where all the day long
I hurried and worried when active and strong.

I needed the quiet though at first I rebelled,
But gently, so gently, my cross He upheld,
And whispered so sweetly of spiritual things.
Though weakened in body, my spirit took wings
To heights never dreamed of when active and gay.
He loved me so greatly He drew me away.

I needed the quiet. No prison my bed,
But a beautiful valley of blessings instead–
A place to grow richer in Jesus to hide.
I needed the quiet so He drew me aside.

~Alice Hansche Mortenson

Ponderings

“But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart.”
~Luke 2:19

I often think about the phrase, Mary “pondered them in her heart.” Sometimes I see what appears to be the Lord working and I ponder on what He may be doing. I have a sheet in my prayer notebook that I have titled “Ponderings.”  On this page I list things that I want to pray about, but don’t really know what to pray.  Those things are between me and the Lord.  I sit back and see what He will do and thank Him that He has everything under control.  As I sit here and type this out, I realize that is how I should be thinking about every area of life.  Not just the things that I don’t really know how to pray about.

Another pondering today has been about my walk with the Lord.  I was listening to a podcast on my morning walk and one of the speakers was introduced as a woman full of theology.  Then the one introducing her said “I want to be like her when I grow up.”  I want to be a woman full of theology that affects every area of my life.  I am far from perfect.  I sin.  But as I age and grow closer to my God, I pray that I will sin less and less.  The other question I ask myself is “What am I doing to become a woman full of theology?”  I have some spiritual goals and these are all good.  I need to be in the Word and I need to be in it more.  That means I will have to make some serious choices about how I spend my time.

And last on the pondering list today is this blog.  I do not plan to quit.  I am amazed that I still have an audience when I have been so sporadic with posting.  I’m glad that others can read past writings and benefit from them.  My problem is that I am completely out of inspiration.  So I am praying about what direction the Lord will take me here.  You can help!!  Is there anything you would like to hear? What are some of your favorite posts?  How can I be a blessing to you, dear reader?

until the next time…

Ponderings

I don’t like to get involved in public political discussions.  That is not the intent of this post.  My heart has been grieved for sometime…

The Lord has given me the privilege to serve Him in a foreign land.  I have been attached to this country for some time and have learned to love the land and its people.  But my blood still flows red, white and blue.

I have stood on the island of Okinawa overlooking the Philippine Sea and recalled the tale of my uncle, who enlisted during his senior year of high school when he turned 18, standing on his PT boat in that very sea and watching a kamikaze destroy his mother ship with people he cared about on board.

I have others in my family line and friends that have served to protect the people and freedoms of the United States of America and other countries suffering from oppressive regimes.  Some lost their health and peace of mind and still others lost their very life.

When I have an occasion to stand and place my hand over my heart during the national anthem, I do so with pride and great emotion.  Gratitude swells my heart for the freedoms that we as Americans enjoy.

I see many young people that don’t know what we are supposed to do when the anthem is played.  It is my understanding that this isn’t being taught in some schools as it was when I was growing up.  Many don’t know or understand the great sacrifices that the flag and anthem represent.

I believe in free speech and I am thankful for that privilege even when someone else’s free speech opposes mine.  Lots of rhetoric has been flying around on all sides of the fence.  I am not singling out a person or persons when I say that it is my desire that those who have been able to follow their dreams and reach the heights they have would use these positions to encourage others to follow their dreams and help others not so fortunate.  They have a position of influence.  I pray that they will use it to unite rather than divide.

May God have mercy on America!

“If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.”  ~2 Chronicles 7:14

photo credit

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Unto Him

Bob Jones University recently posted a youtube video of a vespers with the theme based on “my verse.”  It’s a little over 30 minutes, but very good.

“And that he died for all, that they which live should not henceforth live unto themselves, but unto him which died for them, and rose again.”

~2 Corinthians 5:15

Ponderings

I have had a fantastic time during my stay in the USA. It’s hard to believe how fast it has flown by. I will be departing for Greenville soon and the day is fast approaching when my son checks into the university. That time is on my mind more and more. While visiting a church, a pastor and I were discussing this. His first son is leaving soon for the same university. He told me to remember who my son’s real Father is. This shocked me and then I realized the truth in that statement. Just as my heavenly Father watches over me, He will be watching over my son. I can trust Him to take care of J!

The LORD looketh from heaven; he beholdeth all the sons of men.

~Psalm 33:13

Behold, the eye of the LORD is upon them that fear him,

upon them that hope in his mercy;

~Psalm 33:18

The eyes of the LORD are upon the righteous,

and his ears are open unto their cry.

~Psalm 34:15